The past week was devoted to adventure, freedom and surprise. I enjoyed my little getaway trip to Baguio with my fellow student-leaders of COA. I have grown absolutely close with them. Our experience throughout the year was life-changing - giving us a fresh perspective, an added push and a much needed sense of clarity. And after all the heartaches, headaches, and stress, we were ready to take advantage of the cool weather and indulge freely. It's quite baffling how inebriation for college students somehow sums up that momentary kind of freedom, where your senses are wildly disturbed and heightened at the same time. It's always about the group you are with anyway.



Presently, I have different groups that I hold very dear to me. Our dynamics are all very different, but the shared experience somehow holds us together beautifully. This particular group, my insanely crazy COA loves is purely one of a kind. Our adventures in Baguio have lives of their own! haha! Too crazy to retell or verbalize. One thing is for sure: I will miss each and everyone of them, as much as I will miss everything about being a student leader and putting all our hearts and minds collectively all for our genuine desire to pursue nation-building. Of course, this will carry on throughout my life.



This week was definitely devoted to a lot of downtime. Fixed my files - computer and those in my room. Liberating experience to de-clutter and put some tangible finality to the experience of graduating. I was also glad to help out fellow COA people, Magel and Amor for their Blue Roast film project. Throughout the year, my film credits grew! haha. It's definitely fun. These are just one of the few things that I am glad I have left behind Ateneo. I believe I could not have asked for more. I feel content upon the onset of my graduation. I have learned, lived and loved in the most powerful, interesting and memorable ways. And it has given me the courage and desire to do, be and reach out for more.

Am I ready for law school? I would like to think that the idea is something that I have reconciled with. I am excited to study and learn more. I am excited to be immersed in an entirely different atmosphere. I am excited to meet people with beautiful hearts and engaging minds. And if it proves to be otherwise, then I am excited to be compelled to make positive changes internally and externally. Polsci has somehow allowed a person like me to consider gray areas and float somewhere in between realism and idealism.

I am never fully ready. There will always be a struggle inside of me that will hold back a little. I am an unsettled soul, and for the most part this has waged battles. From all the dearly philosophical quests I have embarked on, it has taught me to look at the purest, sincerest picture of humanity. Of the Infinite. And so I yearn and pray for solitude to continue finding me and for myself to find it amidst the world I, together with my batchmates will engage in. In all its political, economic, cultural and spiritual turmoil and brokenness, I remain hopeful.

I know that this entry is already overdue, as I have officially passed my last academic requirement for my Lit class two Fridays ago. (Thank you, Ma'am Rica for my A!) Nevertheless, last week came in a flash filled with so many events that I had no time to take a breather and update. My last official day as a COA officer ended last Friday as I finally graduated from my position and celebrated the night after for the Awarding party.

I'll keep this entry short as I may have the tendency to be quite emotional if I attempt to be all detailed about it. But there are just way too many reasons to be all sentimental, especially for someone like me who suffer from major attachment issues. I get caught up with things, and if I am truly passionate and excited about something, I revel in all its entirety. My experience as a student, leader, follower, mover, nation-builder, artist, friend, girlfriend, and neighbor through my college years can never be fully expressed exactly as how I want it to. But to put quite simply, it has been amazing. God knows it wasn't easy. Even if people think that I made it look easy, it simply wasn't. Goodness! If you guys read this blog in its entirety, you will get realize that I can be a total wreck. Although, I am incredibly happy that I was able to "document" my college life in this blog. At least a small part of it.

( Read more... )

*Crossposted from pearl.operaglasses.org

January signals the nearing end of the school year, and the past weeks went by so fast. Now that the cool weather is slowly being replaced by extremely sunny skies, I realize that there's little time ahead. I can't help but feel a little lost at times - mostly when it gets overwhelming and all I want to do is put everything into a pause. But no can do. It goes on as always, kind of exhausting and almost fleeting. There are joys in between, and moments to cherish, but to think that we've past mid-January fills me with a little bit of anxiety. Still so much to do.

So I try to make the most out of the time I have in Ateneo. I know for a fact that I will miss it extremely. And while I believe I've confronted the idea of law school much better now, the teensy weensy little speck of fear is there. It's only my stepping stone for bigger dreams.

Last weekend, I shot with the team for the Ateneo Recruitment Video. It's the video that will be shown to the high schools all over Philippines. I was interviewed about org experience and as part of COA. It was a fun day, and I had a blast working with the amazing crew, our director Aaron Palabyab and producer, Armand Sazon. I realized that talking to people is something that I absolutely love doing, and more importantly something I think I could be good at.

( Read more + pictures )

It's hard to go back in detail how I spent the past month. It was by far the busiest month I've ever experienced my entire student life. Last summer came pretty close, but just because this one involved all facets of my entire self, it exceeds everything I did then by a mile. It was physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. I had quite a few breakdowns along the way, but as soon as everything wrapped up wonderfully and successfully at the end, I had to say it was all purely worth it. I have proven a lot of things to myself, and quite proud of what I have accomplished. Here are a few snapshots from some recent celebrations. I wish I had all the pictures with me to share, but these will do. Happy Holidays everyone!

( Lots of pictures behind this cut )

How am I spending the rest of my holidays? For now, I want to catch a lot of downtime possible after all that. Staying at home while enjoying a nice, quite holidays is just right up my alley. Thank God for my awesome Guitar Hero World Tour skills to beat any kind of brewing blues away. Not that there are any. This year has been pretty wonderful to me. I am full of love and incredibly happy. Merry Christmas to everyone!

(cross-posted entry from my weblog)